A different desire

I desire not sunshine and clear skies..

My heart longs for the gloom of rain and thunder

I desire not for a soft patter, but a storm.

I desire not for warmth and comfort,

but the blistering cold which shall harden me.

I desire not beauty, but strength.

The noise is what soothes me, and the silence which torments.

I desire loneliness, I shall find peace on the lonely path.

Who art thou, standing in the mirror? Is it a mask?

The one in the mirror, I speak to thee,

Are you someone else.. too hidden to speak..

I desire not sleep, but hard work.

I desire not luxury baths, but cold water on cold mornings.

I desire not a cool drink, in the scorching summer

but to bathe in sweat, the hard earned relief.

I desire not rest, I desire not slowness

I desire not for relief, but for victory over pain.

Why shall I desire different? perhaps it is a gift...

Why shall I not desire a simple straight road,

but one with long sharp thorns..

Shall the gods smile upon me...

shall the fates be so kind..

That I get what I desire

That I get even more.

Or do the gods have something better planned..

Something I shall not know..

Something I do desire but am unaware..

Shall wisdom shine upon my ignorant eyes..

Has it already..

I shall not know.